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Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? start learning
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Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? start learning
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What is the best definition of a mixed emotion? start learning
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Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.
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Why is divorce so expensive? start learning
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How many selfish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? start learning
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Only one, the world revolves around them.
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What is another name for female Viagra? start learning
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How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? start learning
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Easily, concrete floors are very hard to crack!
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If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 pears and 3 pineapples in the other hand, what would you have? start learning
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How can a man go eight days without sleep? start learning
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Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today? start learning
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Why did a confused woman stare at a carton of apple juice for 20 minutes? start learning
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Because it said “Concentrate” on the side of the carton.
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Why does nobody eat clowns? start learning
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Because they taste funny.
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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? start learning
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Because there wasn't a single person there.
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What do people in prison use to communicate with each other? start learning
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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? start learning
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What would you have if you crossed a panther with a burger? start learning
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Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming? start learning
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Because they take much too long to change.
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Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter? start learning
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Because it’s much too far to walk.
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What falls regularly though never gets hurt? start learning
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Why is it that people always walk whenever they play the bagpipes? start learning
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Even they are attempting to get away from that awful noise.
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Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees? start learning
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Because they’re really good at it.
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? start learning
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Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
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What do a green apple and a red apple have in common? start learning
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They’re both red except for the green one.
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What did the left eye say to the right eye? start learning
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Between you and me, something smells.
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Which is the most curious letter? start learning
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